F is for $#&@

A few weeks ago, after a particularly difficult conversation with an old friend, I posted on Facebook that “People Effing Suck.” Except I didn’t use that cute little euphemism, I said it - THE F word. Sitting there at my desk looking at that word, with the cursor hovering over the blue ‘post’ button, I wondered if I should click it. Well click it I did -because sometimes when life seems to be giving you the finger, no other word will suffice like the F Bomb. 

But I’m a Christian, and there are certain expectations we are supposed to live up to; some are biblical, while others are more personal preferences rather than Biblical principles. When it comes to cursing, the school of thought tends to be along the lines of Ephesians 4:26, “Be angry and do not sin…” But that seems to be the go to verse whenever Christians get angry –at times it seems as if just the anger itself is sinful, even though the verse explicitly states that we can indeed “be angry.”

I had a conversation with a gentleman at church last year, and he seemed to believe that anger was wrong any time, that only God’s anger is righteous, and ours is usually rooted in sin. That may be, but there is nowhere in the Bible where God says we should never get angry, or that anger is always sinful. So where’d he get that from?  Hell if I know, but if God gave us these emotions, why wouldn’t he want us to express them? Of course we can’t just run around screaming at one another when we’re angry -talking works, or if you choose, keeping those feelings close to the vest, when and if you’re ready to deal with them. And sometimes all we can muster is a passionate Facebook post, an emotional outcry we couldn’t stop even if we wanted to.

Still, I did hesitate before posting, knowing what an incendiary word the F Bomb can be. But part of my hesitation was rooted in an insecurity most of us have, “What will people think?” I was afraid my non-believing friends would say, “She can’t be a Christian, she curses like a friggin’ sailor.” Than I was afraid my Christian friends would say, “She can’t be a Christian because she uses vulgar language.” Most of my Facebook buddies were sympathetic, secular and Christian alike 

-unfortunately the most judgmental of the reactions came from Christians. To some, this one time curse word infraction was just too much to take, and they felt the need to unfriend me. This is their prerogative; however it is disheartening when as Christians we show through our actions that we are these overly judgmental caricatures that non-Christians see us as. I mean really, these people know me -have for over ten years, and they know that this isn’t how I regularly talk. I thought if a friend had a problem with what I said, than they would have the decency to speak to me and let me know. It’s disappointing, but it shed a new light on them, one that shows all the stark realities of who they are versus who I thought they were. I know if I had saw behavior in a friend that I don’t normally see, I would want to speak with them first.

If you need to unfriend me, at least have the balls to tell me why; don’t be sneaky about it, leaving me to find the deed done without the slightest explanation –that’s what I would do for you. Christians come from all walks of life and backgrounds; some were raised in the church from birth, so the use of the F word might cause them to recoil in horror. For others like me, I went to church as a kid, but it didn’t take -then I went my own way until my late 30s. The use of the F word doesn’t have that same effect on me as it might on someone told since infancy, that this arbitrarily chosen word is unacceptable to say at any time –ever! The fact that I don’t give that word the old go ‘round the way I used to, is proof that God is continually working in me. This doesn’t mean I won’t use it again –oh I will, but not near the frequency that I used to.

I know there are far more important issues going on in our country that outweighs whether or not it’s acceptable to use the F word, and on the surface it might seem insignificant; but as God’s people how do we show that He loves us right where we are, if right where we are is too difficult for some Christians to tolerate for even one moment? 

So let me re-introduce myself; my name is Alice, I am a Christian, and on occasion I use the F-Bomb -And sometimes “People effing suck,” myself included.

Alice from The Block